Nobody
by christinegrrl
Summary: Three years after he left SVU, Elliot Stabler is still hung up over Olivia. Just as he is about to go back and apologize, he finds a little girl, and their lives will never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first fanfiction posted on this site. Please read and review, and leave a comment saying what you think. I am open to any criticism and ideas, and I'm also looking for a beta. If you are interested, please PM me.**

**Warning: Material in this fanfiction might be triggering. However, nothing will be explicit.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters seen on _Law & Order: Special Victims Unit_. Those belong to NBC and Dick Wolf. I only reserve the rights to my own characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>"I'm Nobody! Who are you?<br>Are you – Nobody – too?  
>Then there's a pair of us!<br>Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!"**

**~ Emily Dickinson**

Chapter 1:

Elliot Stabler walked down the bustling streets of Manhattan, staring at his phone like he had every day for the past three years.

_Olivia._

He knew he should call. Hell, he should have called three years ago. He just couldn't face what he had done. He still couldn't, but admitting that would make him weaker than he already was.

_She must hate me, _he thought. He had been keeping tabs on her, following her cases on the news. He had been so tempted to call her during the William Lewis ordeal, but he had been caught up in the divorce with Kathy. _Kathy was right; in the end, only she mattered._

He passed by her old apartment at least once every two weeks, wishing he could go back to the days where they would sit outside, talking about cases and joking with each other. Sometimes he would think to himself, _Maybe we could go back to that_. _Who am I kidding. She would probably shoot me in the head if she even saw me. A civil conversation would be out of the question._

No one understood why he couldn't go back and talk to her, not Kathy, not the kids, not the therapist he'd talked to. Everyone thought that it was because they were sleeping together, even the shrink.

_I was never unfaithful. I was always a good husband, even when we were divorced. Olivia and I just had a chemistry that Kathy couldn't deal with._

It was true. From day one, they had fallen in sync with each other, finishing each other's sentences, walking in perfect unison. No one had quite understood what it meant, though most jumped to the same conclusion. It had almost cost them their jobs plenty of times.

Elliot was walking back to his apartment from his job at the local gym. He had always been muscular, so when they were advertising, he stepped up. It gave him something to do, something to occupy his mind, at least for a few hours a day. It also helped him pay his rent, since Manhattan apartments were definitely not cheap, and his pension alone couldn't cover everything.

The route he took avoided the absolute busiest streets, leaving him alone - for New York City standards. He could hear yelling in one of the side streets, two middle-aged men surrounding something. Just as he was about to continue his journey of wallowing in self-pity, he heard a younger, softer voice that surely could not have belonged to either of the two men.

"Please, you don't have to pay, just please leave me alone. I don't want to."

The two men wouldn't back down. "C'mon, I know you like it. You're a little whore." "No one likes a whiner, so just take your _present_ like a good girl."

He couldn't help it. He still had the instinct to go after whoever thought it was okay to take advantage of little kids.

"Hey, leave her alone," he called out to them, going further into the dark little alleyway. He could see the girl now, fear on her young, thin face. She was so pale and skinny she looked like she was going to pass out.

"Hey, what's the hurry, man? You'll get your turn. Can't you wait a couple of minutes?" The taller one said, angrily. Elliot could see the way he was holding her head against the wall, and realized what would happen if he let this continue any longer.

The men had yet to have a good view of him, since the passageway was dimly lit. Once he came into their view, they immediately started to hesitate, apologizing. He could see their grip on the girl slacken a bit as their fear permeated the air. "I said, leave her alone." He took another menacing step forward, and they started backing away with their hands in their air, as if surrendering to him. Once they had reached a distance seemingly sufficient to which he could not hurt them, they turned and ran off.

Elliot turned his attention back to the girl, who looked even more afraid than when he had first entered the scene. Now that they were gone, and he had done his job, _Why,_ he thought, _am I still here?_

"I'll do whatever you want, sir," whispered the girl. "You won't have to pay, I promise. Just... Thank you."

She was avoiding eye contact, as though she felt inferior to him. The "sir" also bothered him quite a bit. After all his years at Special Victims, he could read people and situations fairly easily.

"You don't have to thank me, and you don't have to do anything for me. I just want to help you." He tried to step closer to her, but she flinched. She immediately looked up, horrified with what she had just done.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to. It was an accident. Please don't hurt me," she ended with a whisper. She had finally gotten a good view of him, and she realized why the other men had been intimidated. His stature and bulging muscles were enough to scare even professional football players.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." Elliot began to realize that she was more traumatized than he had originally believed. This fear seemed to have stemmed from something far more powerful and terrifying than the attempted sexual assault he had just witnessed.

He knew he couldn't leave her out on the streets; some other person would surely find her, and there was no guarantee that someone else would step in. He considered his other options: He knew this was a case for SVU if ever there was one, but the way she was acting, he knew she would never agree to talking to the police about her situation.

"My apartment is about five minutes away from here. Would you like to spend the night?" He cringed at his wording, which had done nothing to ease the little girl's fears. He opened his mouth to clarify.

"For-for the whole night?" she questioned. She seemed confused, like this was such a foreign request.

"However long you want. If you don't feel comfortable-"

"Oh, no! Whatever _you _want, sir," she interrupted quickly, as if attempting to correct his assumption that was so horrid to her.

Elliot shook his head. _She still thinks I want sex. She's still scared that I am going to hurt her if she doesn't do exactly what I want._

He approached her slowly, calmly, and then kneeled down to her level, making sure not to box her in so that she felt threatened. He spoke slowly and clearly, "I am not going to hurt you. I don't want sex. All I want is to make sure that you have a warm place to sleep for the night where you aren't afraid that someone is going to take advantage of you. If you are uncomfortable, you _do not_ have to come with me. This is _your_ choice."

She looked up in disbelief, almost ready to accept, and then looked down, whispering, "Whatever you want, sir."

He sighed. _She's been trained to have no opinions, no choice, to think that she is inferior. _He needed to correct this belief, to teach her that she has rights, that she can say no.

Looking at her clothing, which consisted of a short skirt, skimpy shirt, and nothing covering her feet, he asked, "Do you have anything else to wear?"

"No, sir, not at the moment. Master would prefer me not to return back to the House until morning, but I could go back and change, if you'd like."

"No, it's fine. You just look a bit cold; those clothes aren't really ideal for fall." _Master?_

"I'm fine." She was quick to correct any assumption of his that would imply that she had needs, he noticed. "Sir."

"Here, take my jacket." He shrugged it off, handing it to her. She took it skeptically.

"What would you like me to do with it? Would you like me to fold it, sir?"

He looked back at her in disbelief. "You can put it on, if you'd like."

"Are you sure, sir? I'm not cold, I promise."

"Please, put it on." The coat concealed her arms and most of her legs, but her feet were still uncovered. "Why aren't you wearing shoes?"

"Oh, Master doesn't let me. He thinks women are more attractive with bare feet," she replied matter-of-factly.

He continued with this game of questions and answers. Whatever would get her talking. "What would happen if you were to wear shoes, then?"

Her face turned dark, her eyes cold. "I would get punished." She seemed to think about this, and then recited, as if she'd heard it countless times, "I'm a bad girl, sir. I deserve to be punished."

Elliot put his hands under her chin and gently lifted her head to meet his eyes. "You do not deserve that. You have done _nothing wrong_."

She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "Yes I have. I bothered you, I convinced you not to let me serve you, I tricked you into letting me come home with you, I took your jacket, I-"

"No. You didn't bother me, you didn't trick me, you didn't take anything from me. Sweetheart, I just want to help you."

She flinched at the word "sweetheart", and the spark in her eyes that had been there before went away, and she went back into submission. "If that's what you want, sir. Thank you."

He sighed. "You... You're welcome. Shall we go now?"

"If you want to, sir. I apologize for delaying you."

As they started walking to his apartment, Elliot was pondering the girl's erratic behavior. _One minute she's fine and talking like a normal person, the next she's apologizing for having done absolutely nothing. Her 'Master' abuses her, that's clear. He probably has her working on the streets to earn money. No wonder she is so afraid of me._

Elliot stopped in the middle of the street, realizing something. "Could you please tell me your name?"

"It's whatever you want it to be, sir." She seemed confident and a little seductive with this answer, as if she had practiced it many times before.

"But what's your real name?"

"...I'm not sure."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the positive reviews, favorites, and follows. I appreciate any and all who are reading this. I'm sorry for not posting sooner, but I have been busy with school. I will try to put up another chapter as soon as possible, though.**

**Special thank you to my beta, K.E.B.123. Please head over and read her stories, they are amazingly written, and she has helped a lot with making this chapter better.**

**Disclaimer: Again, I own no characters seen on the show. I only own my characters.**

* * *

><p>"<strong>The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." ~Lao Tzu<strong>

Chapter 2: The First Step

_She doesn't know her name._

_She doesn't know her own name._

_No one's called her by her given name in years._

_How could you degrade a person like that? Not letting her have a name for herself?_

The fury in Elliot's eyes was prominent as he walked down the street towards his apartment, so no one dared question why a young girl with no shoes was following him through the streets. At first the girl, who was unable to understand why he was mad, thinking that anger was directed towards her, was hesitant to follow him, but she did nonetheless.

He led her into the building that housed the tiny closet of an apartment he called home. The elevator was old and creaky, and the stairs were so dimly lit that he had tripped over them many a time before. After pondering which would be best, he opted for the elevator, deciding it looked less daunting and would give her bare feet a break from all the walking she had surely done.

The silence was deafening, interrupted only by her weak coughs, which she desperately tried to hide. After being out in the cold weather with barely any clothing, she would most definitely have become sick, however she continued to conceal her coughs. He suspected it was because she lived in fear of punishment for having basic human needs.

He couldn't bring himself to talk to her. He was afraid she would think he was just trying to take advantage of her. _It's not like she already thinks that, dumbass._

The two got out of the elevator when it reached his floor and walked down the dark hall until they reached his apartment. He felt paranoid as he looked around the hallway, before he unlocked the door to his tiny, one bedroom apartment. He knew his neighbors would assume the worst, and he didn't want them to get suspicious of his intentions in bringing a girl home. _Why am I acting like this? I haven't committed any crime. I'm trying to help her._

_But what if your neighbors see you and call the police?_

_They won't. I'm not doing anything wrong. Who am I kidding? This whole scenario is technically illegal. I brought her here under false pretenses. She thinks I'm paying her for sex. That's illegal, Elliot._

A loud gasp pulled him from his thought. He looked up to see the girl running around his apartment with amazement, marveling at what he knew to be cheap, secondhand furniture. There was very little that separated the kitchen from the living room, and he was pretty sure that the corner by the fridge housed a small family of rodents. His bed barely fit in the bedroom down the hall, and the shower in his bathroom was so rusty he was sure it had been installed in the 40s, and hadn't yet been replaced.

"_This _is where you live?" she asked, seemingly impressed.

He was unsure of how to answer. "Yes…"

"Wow. A-And it's all yours? And it has heating?!"

He shook his head, bewildered. _Has this girl never stayed in a heated house before?_

She stopped running around and suddenly dropped to her knees. He ran over to check on her and make sure that she wasn't hurt, when she said quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make such a fuss. Thank you for allowing me to stay here for the night, sir. I very much appreciate it, and I will be sure to make it up to you however you want."

He sighed. "What do I have to do to convince you that I don't want to use you for sex? You don't have to do anything to stay here tonight. You don't have to pay, in money or in anything else. You do not have to thank me!" By the end he was shouting, causing her to cower in the corner.

"I'm sorry, sir. Please don't get so angry. I'm really sorry. I didn't realize I had upset you so much. Please don't hurt me." Her panicked whispers became more and more difficult to hear as her breathing became more sporadic and her coughing intensified.

Elliot took a deep breath. Once he had calmed down a bit, he started to speak softly and slowly, "Okay. It's okay. Just breathe. Breathe slowly. Calm down, okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you so upset. Just calm down, okay? I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I won't get mad again, I promise. I'm sorry. Okay? Are you okay?"

She started to breathe normally again. She seemed calmer than before, and the coughing had died down quite a bit.

_She's obviously sick and traumatized. What, do you just want to scare her more? Do you want her to think that you're a bastard who hurts women to get off? She's obviously scared of men, and then you go and yell at her. Great fucking job! She needs medical attention and therapy. You keeping her in your apartment and letting her go in the morning isn't going to help her. You should know what to do. You worked SVU._

_What would Olivia do?_

"Do you want to go to a hospital?" he asked. "They can help you. You can report this to the police…"

"No! Please don't make me go there! They're evil. They don't want to help me. They'll just turn me in for prostitution, and then I'm in big trouble. Master wouldn't like it if I was arrested. Please don't make me go." She looked at him imploringly, afraid that he would ignore her pleas and take her to the hospital anyway.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to go to a hospital. How about reporting it to the police?" At this point, he was just hoping to get her some form of help.

"No. They'll either arrest me, or just say that I was asking for it, dressing like this, asking for money, getting paid for having sex with other guys..."

Elliot was shocked. "You've been to the police before and _that's _what they told you?" _This isn't right. If all my years at SVU have taught me anything, it's that it is never the victim's fault._

"Yeah. I mean, I guess they're right. Right?"

He shook his head. "No, absolutely not. No one has the right to be raped, or forced to do something they don't want to do. It doesn't matter what clothes you were wearing, if you were drunk, unconscious, if you said yes and then changed your mind, if you're getting paid. It doesn't matter. If the guy doesn't stop after you say no, it is rape, it is sexual assault. It is a crime. Do you understand?"

She seemed uncertain, hesitant. "I guess so."

"Those police were wrong. Okay, I used to be a police officer, and I worked at Special Victims," he explained. He hoped telling her about his past experience would get her to trust both the police and him. "I still know some people there, and I know they can help you, and… Are you okay?"

She gulped. "You were a police officer?"

"Yes, but-"

"Please don't turn me in, sir." She threw herself at his feet, and with pleading eyes, continued, "I'll do whatever you want, I promise. Please, the police don't need to know. Okay? You can get out the handcuffs, whatever. I don't mind. But please don't turn me in!" She was distressed, sobbing, thrashing about.

He leaned down. "I'm not going to turn you in, okay? I just want to help you. The people at Special Victims, they want to help you as well. They would _never _say anything like what those other officers said. It's up to you, but just keep that in mind. I'm not going to force you to do anything you aren't completely comfortable with. I promise you that. If you want them to help stop this guy, they will. It is up to you, okay? No pressure."

_No pressure my ass. You basically just told her that she's going to have to talk to the police, the one thing that she fears, maybe even more than her 'Master', if she wants your help or anyone else's._

"Can I think about it, please, sir?" She seemed to be considering it quite a bit.

"Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like you have to talk to them or anything. I really mean it when I say this is up to you."

She nodded skeptically. "Of course, sir."

He wanted to change the subject, to take her mind off of the reality that she needed to talk to the police, even if that meant they could potentially arrest her. "You seem a little sick. Have you been outside a lot lately?"

"Yes, sir. Master was displeased with my behavior over the weekend, so he sent me to work outside for the week. I… I need to bring back at least five thousand dollars by the end of the week in order to go back to working inside." She whispered the last sentence, ashamed of her seemingly blatant begging for his money.

"Okay, and how much do you have so far?" he asked, trying to see if there was any way he could help her out. _At least we're getting somewhere._

"Um, none…? Those guys that you saved me from took all of the money I had earned. What are you doing?"

He was reaching in his pocket to get out his wallet. "Five thousand?" he asked, opening his wallet and pulling out a stack of bills from the check he had just cashed. "Okay, here's one thousand, and tomorrow I can go to the bank to get the rest. Is that okay with you?" _I am not going to let that creep hurt her because she is too weak to defend herself against two stronger men. She can stay here for the rest of the week, and then she can take the money she should have earned as compensation for lost time._

She looked so confused. "I guess? I mean, no. It's okay. You don't have to pay. In fact, I should be paying you. You aren't making me do anything for you, at least you haven't yet, and you're giving me a place to stay for the night. I really appreciate that. You definitely don't have to pay. Tomorrow, I can go out and work to pay off whatever you think I should give you after tonight. Is that okay? Or, I could leave now. It's up to you; whatever you want, sir."

"You don't have to pay me. You don't have to go back out there if you don't want to. Okay, you can stay here the whole week. I won't mind, and you won't have to do anything, no payment, no sex. Nothing. Let me give you this money, okay? I'm paying you for your time. That's what you do, right? You give guys your time to do whatever they want. All I want is to talk to you. Just talk. You think we can do that?"

"If that's what you want, sir." She stared down at the worn floor, unable to look him in the eye.

"That's what I want. Now, is that what you want? Because that's more important to me. What _you _want is important. Never forget that, okay?"

"Okay. I'd like that. Thank you, sir."

"Please don't call me 'sir'. I'm not in charge of you, okay? _You _are in charge of yourself. You _do not _have to call me 'sir'."

"Okay. Then what would you like me to call you?"

"My name is Elliot." He offered her a small smile.

She smiled back. "Thank you, Elliot."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm so sorry for not having posted sooner, I've been busy with school and writer's block. Thank you for all the positive responses to this story. I'd really appreciate it if you all left reviews, because I want to improve my writing and to get ideas from all of you.**

**I'd especially like to thank my beta, K.E.B.123 for all her help in editing this chapter. Her stories are amazing, please go check them out.**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately own no characters in the _Law & Order_ universe. I only own my own, original characters. **

* * *

><p><strong>Some say the world will end in fire,<strong>

**Some say in ice.**

**From what I've tasted of desire**

**I hold with those who favor fire.**

**But if it had to perish twice,**

**I think I know enough of hate**

**To say that for destruction ice**

**Is also great  
><strong>

**And would suffice.**

**~ Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice"**

Chapter 3: Fire

He smiled. _She is finally beginning to see herself as a person with __rights_, he thought,_ not __a thing ready to be used by whoever can afford to pay._

"So, you want to pay me just for staying in your apartment?" she asked, still slightly confused by Elliot's request. "I was just wondering. You don't have to..." She began to trail off, mumbling incoherently. She was still hesitant about saying the wrong thing, fearful that a punishment was sure to come. But at least she was communicating with him.

"Yes," he said, patiently explaining his proposal. "I am taking your time, so you are earning the money. You don't have to go back on the streets for the rest of the week unless you want to. You are free to stay here for as long as you want. I mean that, okay? You don't have to do anything. If you don't want to go back to _him_, you don't have to. It is completely up to you."

Elliot continued to stare at the girl, making sure she took in every word he was telling her. She nodded in agreement, which sent a small smile to his lips.

"I really appreciate that," she began. His kindness had been a breath of fresh air, he was sure, to the treatment she was accustomed to. However, he could still sense her uncertainty and fear. "But what if he sends someone after me? I don't want you to get in trouble, especially since you seem like a really nice person."

"Would he really do that?" Elliot asked. He dared whoever it was that was torturing this girl to come after him. He had been in the military, and had protected the streets of New York for years. He wasn't going to back down to a stupid low life, especially when this girl's life was at stake.

She nodded. "Don't question his abilities," she said, shuddering.

Elliot shook his head. "I promise I'll protect you no matter what," he said, taking a step towards her, as if to emphasize his promise of protection. "I won't let him get to you."

"Thank you, Elliot."

"You're very welcome."

She smiled contentedly. Here was a man that didn't want to use her just for sex. That was a first.

"What would you like for dinner, sweetie?" Elliot asked, walking into the kitchen. She was so thin it looked as though she hadn't eaten in weeks.

She looked up, surprised, and then responded, "Oh, it's not my eating day, thank you though."

Elliot looked up, shocked. "Eating day? I don't understand."

The girl blushed, before placing her hand on her growling stomach, trying to calm the hunger that was growing. "Oh, well, I can only eat on a certain day every week, and that's only when I've been good and pleased Master. If he feels I haven't done my job correctly, not earning enough money, I mean, then he won't let me eat. If he finds out you gave me food, I would be in big trouble, so I'd rather not eat anything, if that's okay with you. But please don't let that stop you from eating. I can even make dinner for you, if you want-" She watched Elliot's face fall. "What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?!"

His hands clenched into tight fists as his face reddened and his nostrils flared. To describe him as angry would be an understatement. "So let me get this straight. You can only eat once a week if your Master thinks you are worthy of food? That is ridiculous! Is he trying to kill you? And I suppose he's going to punish you if he finds out you spent the week with someone who actually _dared _to offer you food, someone who genuinely cares about your well being? Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous!"

Her scared expression answered all of his questions. "I'm sorry that I upset you, sir," She whispered, backing away from him. "I only told you-"

"You're _sorry?!_ You've been through horrible abuse and manipulation, and you're _sorry._ I bet you think you deserve not to eat if your Master doesn't feel satisfied, huh?" He started backing her into the corner of the room, so enraged that he didn't realize how threatening his figure must have appeared to the young girl. "Your _Master_. I bet he forced you to call him that. I bet that when he first got his hands on you, he beat you so much that you called him that just to avoid a punishment. I could just wring his neck," he muttered, his hands closing around the air in front of him as if the man was standing right there.

The poor girl was shaking in fear. She was backed so far into the corner there was no chance of her escaping the now angry man in front of her. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to upset you," she whispered quietly, trying not to cry.

He threw his hands up in exasperation, and yelled, "Why are you apologizing?! You have done _nothing __wrong_!" He paused and took a deep breath. "Tell me where your Master is," he said in a deep voice.

She had been told never to deny a man anything, to answer to his every demand, to cater to his every need, but she was terrified. She didn't want to disobey Elliot, but she didn't want him to get hurt. "I don't know," she answered, hoping to avoid a confrontation.

All he could see was red. "That's bullshit! That's utter bullshit. You do know. Why would you protect him?"

"I… I'm sorry?"

"Stop being sorry all the time!" He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the corner. "Come on, let's go visit your Master. I'll teach him a thing or two about respecting women!"

"Please don't make me," she sobbed. "Please, I don't want to. I just want you to stop shouting. Please don't shout. Please, I don't want to." She began to cry harder.

Elliot took one look at the girl in his arms and froze. He quickly let go of her, leaving her to collapse on the floor in a sobbing heap, before he backed away in horror. "Oh, my God," he whispered to himself. He didn't know what had come over him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I just… God, I'm so sorry," he stammered, tears rolling down his cheek.

_How could you? You spent all of this time trying to convince her you were the good guy, the one person she could trust, and then you threaten her! You're no better than her Master is._

_No, but I didn't mean to!_

_It doesn't matter. Do you think she meant to piss you off? Do you think that was her intention in telling you about the stupid rules her Master has for her? No! All she wanted was a friend, someone who would believe her, someone who she could trust, and you betrayed her. You kept telling her you wouldn't hurt her, and you did! She told you to stop, she told you she didn't want to, just like you told her to do if she was ever in a situation she didn't want to be in. She took your advice, and you showed that she can't trust anyone._

Continuing to go through his mental turmoil, Elliot didn't notice the girl crawling over to where he was standing, wiping the tears from her eyes. It wasn't until he felt a shaky hand trying to undo his belt buckle that he looked down.

She had a look of desperation in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't mean to make you upset! Please, I can make it up to you. I promise. I know what I'm doing, and I promise you'll enjoy it! Please, just let me stay here. I won't take up any room, just a small corner. You won't even notice I'm here unless you want me to join you for the night. Please, just let me stay here!" She continued to plead with him, her voice full of desperation.

He looked down in horror as the poor girl continuously tried to undo his belt. All that time he had spent trying to convince her he wouldn't hurt her had gone down the drain because he had let his temper get in the way.

* * *

><p>He stood still while she pleaded with him. He was so angry. She didn't understand what she had done wrong.<p>

Normally men got excited when she told them her Master's rules, especially when this meant they didn't have to spend the money to feed her. And even if they weren't aroused by this, the prospect of oral sex was enough to convince them to let her stay for the night, so she couldn't understand why he was apologizing for her being a bad girl. It was her fault she had made him angry. It always was.

But he was more angry at her Master than her. His intention hadn't been to hurt her, like the other men had done. He had only wanted to protect her.

He began to cry, all the while continuing to apologize to her. She stood there, confused, not knowing how to respond. She thought it was because she had upset him. She had even tried to make amends, but apparently she was so repellent to him that even when she begged him to have sex with her, she wasn't appealing.

She felt him gently pry her fingers off of his belt, as he said, "You don't have to do this, okay? I'm so sorry for getting angry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please, you don't have to do this."

"Sir, I don't mind. Please. If you don't think I'm pretty enough, then I can leave now, but I promise you, I'm well trained. I can do anything you want, I promise."

Elliot looked down at her and shook his head. He knelt down to her level and looked straight into her eyes. "No, it's not that. Sweetheart," he began, "I didn't bring you here to have sex with me. That wasn't on my mind _at all._ All I want is to make sure you're safe. I'm not thinking about sex or anything like that. I'm so sorry I got angry at you. I had no right to hurt you like I did, and I'm very sorry about it. You don't have to stay if you don't want to, and I certainly don't expect anything of you, but if you want to I promise I won't do anything like that again."

She looked back at him skeptically. "Are you sure, sir?"

He nodded, giving her a gentle smile. "Absolutely. I know this is asking a lot, but could you forgive me?"

A small smile appeared on her face. "Of course, Elliot," she said, nodding. "Thank you for apologizing."

"Please don't thank me for that. I hope you know I'm not going to do anything like that ever again."

She nodded. "I know. Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello again! Thank you to those of you who have favorited, followed, or reviewed this story, and a special thank you to my beta, K.E.B.123, for her help and inspiration.**

**This is the chapter you've all been waiting for: Olivia! Because I haven't directly addressed this, I'd like to mention that this story takes place in fall of 2014 (Season 16), but Olivia has no idea who Noah is, and is not acting as a foster parent to any child. I know this is a bit odd, but trust me, I have my reasons.**

**I'd like to ask that if you are enjoying this story, could you please take some time out of your day to write a review? I do not want to be one of those people who asks for a certain amount of reviews before posting a new chapter, and I will never do that, but reviews are very motivational, and if you could please take the time to write one I'd very much appreciate it.**

* * *

><p><strong>If suddenly<strong>

**you forget me**

**do not look for me,**

**for I shall already have forgotten you.**

**~ Pablo Neruda, "If You Forget Me"**

Chapter 4: Nostalgia

Olivia stood in her office, occasionally pacing the length of the small room, anxious. She was waiting for Fin to come back from the lab, hopefully with new leads on their latest case, in which a father was suspected of molesting his young daughter. The father, of course, had refused to cooperate and let the detectives speak with her. It had taken Olivia an hour of threatening the father with legal consequences before he allowed the detectives to even carry through with the rape kit. Everyone knew by then that the father was guilty, and they hoped forensics would make the trial easier for everyone, especially their victim.

Olivia sighed and stopped pacing, before taking a seat at her desk. She couldn't help but think of how her former partner would have handled this case. Elliot had always been sensitive to cases involving children, and she knew as soon as he saw the father he would have grabbed him and slammed him into the closest wall, demanding an explanation. She could picture his face red, vein throbbing, spit flying out of rage, and how she would have to pry him away from the man, who would look, she guaranteed, like a little boy in the principal's office.

Oh, how she could picture that sight.

_Elliot._

She missed him so much.

She tried to pretend she had forgotten everything, that his leaving hadn't affected her. She had managed to convince almost everyone of this, and at times she was positive she had convinced even herself.

And then she would remember all of the good memories the two shared: The late nights they spent at the precinct or in front of her stoop, talking. She would remember how they spent hours discussing Kathy and the kids, as well as her numerous failed relationships.

The two of them had always been flirtatious. In fact, she could remember when she had first stepped foot in the Special Victims Unit, he had flirted with her, and then, upon discovering they would be partners, proceeded to pretend that she was far below him. He had acted like he was far more superior to her, simply because she was a woman, a woman who dared to insult his manhood by refusing to submit to his manner of interrogation.

The first time they ever set foot in an interrogation room together, it was as if they were opponents in a boxing match. She had tried to connect with the suspect, feigning sympathy and interest in him, while he had thought it would be far more effective to push him up against the wall and threaten his life.

"_Detective Stabler, may I please speak with you outside," she said, as she tried to pull him away from the cowering man about to cry._

_He glared at her, trying to intimidate her, but the look in her eyes made it clear who was in control._

_As they stepped out of the interrogation room, she turned to him and asked, "Is that normally the way you interrogate a suspect? And you still have your gold shield? Well, that may have worked for you in the past, but I assure you, I won't put up with that bullshit. Not with my job on the line too."_

_Elliot simple rolled his eyes. "Are you done with your 'hero of the year' award speech sweetheart?" he said, boredom laced in his voice. "Cause, I don't know about you, but I want to put that bastard away for a very long time. How exactly do you propose to do that, oh Miss Perfect Detective?"_

_She smiled. "Wow, taking advice from a rookie, I see. Old man, I know what I'm doing." With that she sauntered back into that interrogation room, where she emerged with a signed confession fifteen minutes later. Her Captain was delighted, and she ignored the death glares coming from her partner, who believed her one goal in life was to humiliate him._

Olivia laughed, thinking about the expression on Elliot's face that day. He had seemed so lost at first, although he had quickly learned that she wasn't going to put up with his sour disposition, and eventually became almost bearable. At least to everyone else.

To her, he was perfect. He was Elliot. Her Elliot.

Over the years, they had formed a tight bond. Tighter than most people thought was normal. Many had assumed they had been sleeping together, and it pained her to admit that she could see where they were coming from. Hell, even his son had accused her of it.

But he had been married and happy with his life. She couldn't dare act on her feelings toward him, not while knowing the heartbreak that would befall his kids and Kathy, no matter how much she longed to do so.

And then there was the fact that she was certain he wasn't interested in her as anything more than partners, or friends.

So she continued with her pretense of disinterest in him, trying to date other guys that always were scared off by the prospect of an overbearing work partner. That seemed to keep things at a comfortable level.

And then, the shooting.

Olivia could still see the look of horror on his face as he stood over the dead girl's body, unable to believe he had killed someone so young. She had tried to be patient with him, understanding that he needed some time, but she had never suspected that he would actually leave Special Victims, especially without saying goodbye.

It wasn't until her Captain had told her that she even had realized that it had been a significant possibility that she should have been prepared for.

She had tried to pretend it hadn't bothered her, and she had eventually succeeded. It wasn't until William Lewis came along that she even approached the subject. After that, however, she was unable to get him out of her head.

Lewis had made her so dependent on just the thought of Elliot that he was the only thought on her mind for months after the attack. She had dreamed of Elliot coming to save her, and truth be told, her saying Elliot's name in her sleep was one of the main reasons she and Brian decided to break up. He had pretended it hadn't bothered him, but she knew better.

Olivia's thoughts were disrupted by Fin knocking on her door. "Come in," she said, wiping away the tear that had fallen in her reminiscing.

Fin could tell she had been thinking of Elliot. He knew Olivia had taken it really hard when he left, and had been thinking about him more and more, especially after everything with Lewis. "Livia," he said in a gentle voice, "Sorry to bother you, but the forensics just came back on the Brianna O'Neil case."

Olivia nodded. "Thanks Fin. Let's get this son of a bitch," she said, standing from her seat and walking out of her office. She followed him out into the squad room, forgetting everything but her focus on getting justice for the little girl.

* * *

><p>Elliot stared at the little girl, who sat on his couch reading the newspaper. She had insisted that she didn't need anything special, asking only for the newspaper to keep herself entertained, feeling that watching TV would be too much of a privilege for her. He had felt so sorry that she viewed herself as such an inferior person, but could not refuse her.<p>

He let out a sigh. He had been thinking of Olivia. How could he not?

She would know how to handle this. She always had. Ever since she first walked into the squad room, she had this aura of power, yet radiated empathy with the victims. And if this girl wasn't a victim, he didn't know who was.

He had pretended to despise that he had to be partnered with this powerful woman. He had constantly tried to pretend that she was below him, but he knew he was wrong.

Not only was she an amazing detective, she was a beautiful person, both inside and out. It had taken him very little time to realize that he was in love with her.

But he was married. With kids. He had made a promise to Kathy, a promise to love her for the rest of his life. Kathy was his wife, and Olivia was only his partner. It was the mantra that she had drilled into his head over the years.

In their years as partners, she had shown no romantic interest in him, so he had tried to hide his feelings best he could. He supposed he succeeded, since she didn't seem to take notice of his feelings, unlike everyone else.

Especially Kathy.

She had gotten so jealous, constantly accusing him of sleeping with Olivia every chance she got. He couldn't understand how she still thought Olivia was so threatening, especially after she was the one who had convinced them both not to file for a divorce. She had also helped deliver their fifth child. But Kathy was always jealous.

Toward the end of his career, he had thought a lot about telling Olivia how he felt. In fact, the day of the career-ending shooting, he had been planning on taking her out to dinner, telling her he was going to divorce Kathy, and asking her whether she felt anything for him. He had been willing to move out of Special Victims for her. In fact, the only reason he had stayed for so long was to be with her every day.

But he knew she couldn't trust him after the shooting. He couldn't take the horror in her eyes. The way she looked at him made him feel like a monster. So he retired.

He had convinced himself that every phone call she had made since then was just a chance to berate him for being such a bad person. A bad cop. A bad friend.

So he had continued to ignore them, and, after a while, they stopped.

Every day he fought the temptation to walk back into the precinct and explain himself to her, but he knew she had moved on.

And now he found himself in a situation where he desperately needed her. He knew he couldn't continue housing the little girl without telling Olivia. She would know what to do.

_She_ could convince the little girl that she mattered, that she was important, that she didn't deserve to be treated like she was being treated. _She_ could convince her to press charges, or to tell them the name of her Master so they could find him and arrest him.

Olivia could show her what it means to be an innocent little girl. Olivia would care.

Olivia would fix this mess.

Elliot picked up his cell phone and looked at the number he dared not delete. He turned when he heard the rustling of the newspaper, and looked at the little girl, who stared at the phone apprehensively.

"You won't tell anyone I'm here, will you?" she asked. "Please don't call the police."

He sighed. "I won't," he lied. He needed to get her some help, and if a little white lie calmed her down until reinforcements came, then it was worth it.

The little girl smiled. "Thank you."

He grimaced before turning and walking into the bedroom. When he was sure she was unable to hear him, he turned his attention to the phone, and pressed the call button.

* * *

><p>Olivia sighed as she entered her office, exhausted. They had just finished taking Brianna's statement, which consisted of her telling them what a nice person, and how loving, her daddy was. The little girl just couldn't comprehend the fact that they knew what he had done, and that they had physical evidence of it, so she resorted to protecting him.<p>

She was afraid to send the girl home with her father, but Barba said there was no other choice: They had no complaining witness, and there was nothing they could do to force Brianna into admitting her daddy hurt her. They would try again tomorrow, he had said.

Who knew what the poor girl would go through that night before getting another chance to talk to them?

All Olivia wanted was to go home. As she was packing her things, she heard her phone buzz. She sighed, thinking it was another case that would require them to pull an all-nighter, but noticed it was an unknown number. She thought about ignoring it, but when she remembered the countless number of victims she had given her number to, in case they needed her help, she knew it was best to answer the call.

"Benson," she said into the phone, hoping it wouldn't take long.

Silence.

_Not another prank call._ "Hello?" she tried again, agitated.

She could hear heavy breathing on the other end, but no one was speaking.

"This isn't funny. Who is this? I will hang up the pho-"

That's when she heard him. The voice she knew all too well. The voice of the man she thought she would never hear from or see again. _He_ was on the other end.

"Olivia, I need you."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello! I'm so sorry for the delay in updating this story, as I've been very busy with school and writer's block. I promise I am not abandoning this story, and rest assured we still have a long, angsty way to go.**

**Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story. Each one of you means the world to me, and I'd love to hear from you with any opinions and criticisms you may have. Thank you also to my beta, K.E.B.123, who took the time to look at this chapter. She really is amazing, and I'd appreciate it if you could look at her stories as well.**

**Please enjoy.**

* * *

><p>"<strong>I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" ~ Maya Angelou<strong>

Chapter 5: Understandings

Olivia rushed through the busy streets of Manhattan, trying to get to Elliot's apartment as soon as she possibly could. Though tempted to turn on her police sirens and speed through traffic so as to not waste time, she knew rushing to her former partner's apartment did not constitute an emergency. In fact, she was desperately trying not to convince herself that she should be speeding in the opposite direction.

"_You haven't seen him in years,"_ she thought._ "You were so angry at him when he left, you convinced yourself that even if he did show up again, you'd never forgive him. And now you're rushing at the first opportunity to see him? Great job prioritizing your life Olivia."_

She knew she was just giving herself a hard time. Truth be told, if it wasn't for the situation he was in, she probably would have never rushed back to him so quickly. Then again, if it wasn't for this, he probably wouldn't have called.

She continued to drive, hearing their phone conversation being played back on repeat in her head:

"_Olivia, I need you."_

_Her jaw dropped. "It was him," she thought. "It really was."_

_Her disbelief quickly turned to anger._

"_Hello Elliot. How thoughtful of you to call. It's only been what, three years?"_

_She could hear him falter. "Olivia, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."_

"_Well, what did you think would happen?! Did you just expect to waltz out of my life without so much as a goodbye and then come right back into it, no questions asked? Because if you did, you don't know me."_

"_Look, Olivia, I could spend hours trying to convince you how sorry I am, and I really am, but right now, I really need you to come to my apartment."_

_She scoffed. "When hell freezes over. Have a nice-"_

"_Wait!" he pleaded. "Olivia, please, let me explain."_

_She sighed. "You have two minutes." She never could say no to him._

"_Thank you. Earlier today, I was walking home and I saw this little girl being attacked by these two men. I told them to get lost, and then I brought her to my apartment. She's refusing to go to the hospital or to report it to the police, and she'd probably get upset if she found out I'm telling you this now, but she needs help."_

_Olivia was intrigued. She could never say no to helping the victims. "What's wrong?"_

_He sighed. "There's this man she calls 'Master' that pimps her out__ and __forces her to work on the street. She's only allowed to eat once a week, and I have a feeling she still expects me to go out there and demand that she have sex with me."_

_Olivia was speechless. She knew these stories; they had come up multiple times during her years at SVU, but they still horrified her every time she had to hear about them. __The details the victims recalled __were abhorrent, and she often found herself questioning how someone could do such terrible things to another person__. "And you want me to come over and get her to report him?"_

"_I want you to come over and convince her that she matters. If anyone can do that, you can." He paused. "She's the number one priority. I understand if you're still angry with me, and you have every right to be, but she needs help, and she's not going to get it unless you help her. Please Olivia. Don't do this for me, do it for her."_

_She was convinced. He knew how to get to her. He always had. "All right. What's the address?"_

She knew seeing Elliot again would bring back painful memories, but she couldn't just let a little girl suffer because of her selfishness. She hoped he would be civil, if not for her own sake then for the little girl's. _Hopefully that will make things a little more bearable._

She continued to drive, trying not to think about Elliot too much. She scoffed, knowing she was doing the complete opposite, and instead focused her thought on his living situation. She had assumed he and Kathy had worked things out since he was no longer on the force, so suffice it to say she had been surprised to hear that he had an apartment in Manhattan. "_I guess Kathy finally got that divorce,_" she thought, unsure if she should be glad or feel sorry for the woman who had put up with Elliot for so long.

She finally pulled up to Elliot's building, trying to stop her shaking hands as she parked her car. She was so nervous she could practically hear her heart beating. _Why does he do this to me?_ She took another few deep breaths before stepping out of the car. She quickly walked up to the building and rang the buzzer, waiting for his familiar voice on the other end.

Without a word she was let into the apartment building, making her feel uneasy. If people weren't willing to care who came into the building, what kind place was Elliot really living in?

Olivia looked around, astonished at the poor condition of the building. She had expected him to be able to afford a better place to live, but she supposed after putting four kids through college, and a rough divorce, there was very little of his pension left.

She quickly made her way to the small elevator, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for it. She knew she had no reason to be worried, and attributed her anxiety to nervousness over seeing Elliot again. With a screeching noise, the elevator came to a halt, and it was all Olivia could do not to sprint into it, pressing the button for his floor repeatedly until the doors closed. After what seemed like ages, the doors opened to a dark, damp hallway. Making sure to take extra caution, she stepped out of the elevator, and walked down the hall, looking at the numbers posted on each door. She stopped when she found his apartment and gathered her composure, reminding herself that she was here to help a little girl, not to pay a visit to a man she hadn't seen in three years, and knocked softly.

No answer.

She reached up to knock again, but stopped when she heard a soft voice pleading from behind the door.

She reached for the door handle, quickly turning it to reveal her former partner's apartment.

She had very little time to look around the barren apartment before her attention was diverted to the couch, where she saw a young girl, only about four feet tall, straddling Elliot.

"Please sir, there was no need to call the police," the little girl said, oblivious to the detective standing in the doorway.

"It's okay. She's an old friend. She won't hurt you. She's here to help you," Elliot promised, trying to explain to the little girl why he had called Olivia, all the while trying to get her off of him.

"She won't believe me. No one ever believes someone like me. Please, can you please tell her not to come?"

He sighed. "She's already on her way, sweetheart."

"Please. I'll do anything. Anything you want." Her hands snaked down his body to his belt buckle.

Elliot was trying to push her away from him when he noticed a very stunned Olivia standing in the doorway.

"Olivia," he said, unsure of how much his former partner had witnessed and worried of what she would think of him.

The girl looked up, horrified. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it and looked away as if expecting a reprimand.

"Olivia, I-" Elliot began.

"Let go of her." Olivia's voice was calm and authoritative, and she could almost see the girl flinch. "Elliot, let go of her."

His hands fell to his side, and he jumped up, leaving the girl to slide down from his lap into a small pile on the floor.

"Olivia, please."

"Step away from the girl Elliot," she said in a steely tone, one normally reserved for suspects.

The girl just sat there looking stunned, flinching at Elliot's every motion. She was afraid of him, Olivia could see, but still tried to put on a brave face, fearing punishment.

"Olivia, ask her yourself, I'm not trying to hurt her. Go ahead, sweetheart. Tell her."

The girl looked up frightened, and then quickly shook her head.

"Elliot, go in the other room," Olivia whispered to him, hoping that his absence would make the girl feel more comfortable in talking to her.

"Olivia, you have to believe me. I just wanted to help her." Elliot looked his old partner in the eye, hoping she would be able to see he was telling the truth.

"Oh, I saw how much you wanted to help her when I came in," she said sarcastically. "Tell me Elliot, if I hadn't gotten here, how much more would you have _helped _her?"

"Olivia-".

"You really want to help her? Let me speak with her. Alone." Her tone left little room for negotiation.

Elliot let out a sigh. He knew her, and he knew when she was set on something, there was no changing her mine. He bowed his head and quickly left the room.

Once she was sure he was out of earshot, Olivia turned towards the little girl and offered her a small smile. "Hi sweetie."

"Hi," she replied quietly, her head turned away from the detective.

Her position, her tone of voice, everything about her convinced Olivia she was accustomed to being completely submissive. She knew that it would be a challenge to get the girl to understand that not everyone wanted to hurt her.

"How are you?" Olivia asked, slowly approaching the little girl so as to not frighten her.

No answer.

"Can you tell me your name sweetheart?"

She shook her head.

Olivia sighed. "Okay. I know you don't trust me, and you have every right not to, but I promise I am just trying to help you."

"Are you going to arrest me?" Olivia could barely hear her question because of how she was positioned, so she knelt down beside the girl, making sure she was still at a great enough distance so the girl didn't feel threatened.

"What? No, of course not. Why would I arrest you?"

The girl looked up and glared at Olivia. "Prostitution. Assault. I don't know, you cops always find something wrong." Her tone was slightly accusatory, worrying Olivia about her previous experience with law enforcement.

"I'm not going to arrest you, I promise."

"Then why are you here?" She seemed genuinely confused.

"The man that just left, he called me. He said you needed help."

"I'm fine." Olivia smiled. She knew what that response meant; she had used it far too much in her own life.

"You didn't look fine when I got here."

She looked up at Olivia once more. "Thank you for sending him out of the room."

"No problem. I could tell he was making you uncomfortable."

"It's not his fault, I mean, he's very nice and all, but..." she trailed off.

"You're still scared of him?" Olivia asked. The girl nodded, relieved that she didn't have to admit it herself. "That's completely understandable."

"It is?"

Olivia nodded. "How did you meet Elliot?" _If she won't talk about herself, then perhaps she can talk about him._

"I was being attacked by two men in an alley," she said hesitantly. "They were trying to get me to… you know. I swear I didn't want to!" She became frantic.

"I believe you, sweetheart. I do. Just tell me what happened, okay?" Olivia said calmly.

"Okay," she responded with a small nod. "Elliot must have heard. He came and he made them leave and then brought me here."

"Okay, that's good." Olivia was pleased at how much the girl had opened up to her, but was dreading the girl's answer to her next question. "Did he ask you for anything sexual?" She saw the girl look up, scared that she had gotten Elliot in trouble. "I'm sorry, I have to ask."

"No! He was really nice. Of course I offered, but he said I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. He even offered to make me dinner!"

Olivia smiled softly. "That was nice of him."

The girl nodded emphatically.

Olivia continued. "Then what was that on the couch?"

She blushed. "I offered my services to him so he would get you to not come."

"Why didn't you want me to come?"

"No one ever believes me, especially not the police. How was I to know you were any different?"

"I'm so sorry about your past experiences with the police sweetie, but I promise I believe you."

"I know," she said.

Olivia smiled. "What did Elliot say after you offered your services?"

"He said that I didn't have to."

Her smile disappeared. "And what did you take that to mean?" she asked, knowing the answer already.

"He never said he didn't want me to."

* * *

><p>Elliot stared at the door of his bedroom nervously. He knew Olivia had misinterpreted what she had seen and was worried she had also misinterpreted his intentions when he asked her to come to his apartment.<p>

He could hear them talking, and then suddenly heard silence. He stood from his bed, wanting to go out into the living room to see if they were fine, when the door swung open, and a very angry Olivia marched into his bedroom.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" she asked angrily.

He didn't know how to respond. "I'm sorry?"

"Tell that to the little girl out there who just told me about what a nice guy you were, told me that you were so kind as to offer to make her dinner - and then you go asking her for God knows what!"

"I didn't ask her for anything," he said defensively.

Olivia raised an eyebrow, not believing him. "Yeah, well she's convinced that you did."

"I told her that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do." He was angry now. All he was trying to do was help a little girl, and now he was getting shit for that too. Apparently he couldn't do anything right.

"Do you know what 'you don't have to' means to that girl?!"

"Why don't you enlighten me, since the almighty Olivia must have all the answers!"

Olivia recounted what the girl had said to her:

"_Master always told me that even if a guy says that you don't have to, unless he says he doesn't want you to, you should keep going. If you don't, they still feel entitled and then it makes it your fault for saying no."_

Elliot was shocked. "Olivia, you have to know I didn't mean it like that."

Olivia sighed. "I know. She doesn't. Elliot, she's still scared of you."

Elliot sighed. "I know," he said, heartbroken that this girl had misunderstood the words he had intended to bring her comfort. "What can I do?"

* * *

><p>The bedroom door opened and Elliot and Olivia entered the living room, only to find the girl brushing off Elliot's jacket, which she had hung on the door handle of the coat closet.<p>

She looked up at the two adults and said, "I'm sorry for being so much trouble. Sir, here's your coat and the money you gave me. I think it's best if I leave. I'm really sorry."

Elliot was the first to react. "You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? You don't have to leave. _I'm _sorry for making you so uncomfortable."

She shook her head. "Please don't apologize for my mistakes." She turned to Olivia. "I'm sorry for getting you involved, ma'am."

"Call me Olivia please," Olivia said, before stepping in between the girl and the door. "I can't let you go back out there. It's not safe."

"I'll be fine. Please."

Elliot sighed. "Look, you don't have to stay here. I really am sorry for making you uncomfortable, and if you don't feel safe here then you don't have to stay. I'm sure Olivia can set something up at a shelter so you're safe for the night, and then you can go down to the station in the morning and give a statement."

"A statement? A statement against whom?"

"Your Master. And me, if you find what I did inappropriate." He didn't want the girl to hesitate to press charges against him, even if it meant his reputation would be ruined.

"No, sir. I don't want to press charges against anyone. Please don't make me."

"No one's going to make you press charges. Unfortunately, I can't put you in a shelter because you don't have an adult with you. You could come to my apartment if you'd like, but I am on call, so I can't promise that I will be there throughout the night and tomorrow morning," Olivia explained.

"Thank you, but I don't want to cause you any trouble." She paused for a moment. "Elliot, would you mind if I stayed here for the night? I would be out of your way, I promise. I won't take up much room at all. I only need a small corner or even the fire escape would be fine. I just-"

"It's okay. You won't be any trouble, I promise. You can take the bedroom and I'll sleep on the couch." He gave Olivia a pointed look. Three years apart and they could still understand each other without needing to say anything.

"And, if Elliot doesn't mind, I can stay with you, if you'd like," Olivia said, hoping to make the girl feel more comfortable.

The relief was evident in the girl's voice even as she protested, claiming she didn't want to inconvenience anyone any more than she already had. Olivia and Elliot, however, wouldn't hear of it, and eventually she conceded.

Elliot pulled Olivia aside. "Thank you for staying."

Olivia looked up into Elliot's eyes and sighed. After everything he had put her through she was still at his side, helping him. Before following the girl into Elliot's bedroom, she said, with cold eyes, "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for her."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I feel like every chapter starts with this, but I really am very sorry for not updating sooner. I can offer no valid excuse on the matter, but I do hope you've all enjoyed your summers!**

**Thank you so much to every single person who favorites, follows, and reviews. It means the world to me that you take the time to do this, and it really does inspire me to continue on with this story. Thanks especially to K.E.B.123, the most amazing beta and writer. Please do go give her some love.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>"Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." ~ Aristotle<strong>

Chapter 6: Anger

Throwing himself on the couch, Elliot thought to the times in his life where he had been fearless and had acted without regard to what anyone would say to him. This, however, was not one of those moments.

For the past few hours, he had been working up the courage to knock on the bedroom door in an attempt to reconcile with Olivia. He would approach the door, knowing exactly what he would say to her, only to hear the hushed voices inside the bedroom, forcing him to retreat back to the couch immediately. He feared the rejection he was sure to face, especially after telling her how much he had missed her.

And boy did he miss Olivia. He had missed her so much that there were days he couldn't get out of bed, the want – the need – to see her causing hours on end of depression and heartache.

He supposed the process of falling in love was so gradual that he hadn't noticed it until he was so head over heels in love with her, it was a hopeless cause. All the jokes about them being too close, all the accusations about him finally succumbing to his desire for his partner – all true. He could finally see where they were coming from, and how justified they were.

But now it was too late. Olivia couldn't stand him, and his life was over. He sighed, rolling his eyes at how melodramatic he had become.

In a perfect world he would march straight into that bedroom. In a perfect world he would profess his love for her, a love he had felt for twelve years. In a perfect world he would kiss her like he had always wanted to. In a perfect world, Olivia would understand why he had left, and she would willingly let him back into her life.

Unfortunately for him, Elliot did not live in a perfect world. Proof of that came in the form of the abused young girl in the bedroom with Olivia. If this were indeed the perfect world he longed for, Olivia would not have been in his apartment, nor would the little girl, for that matter. He would not have met either of them, since there would be no need for a Special Victims Unit without the horrible perpetrators of such heinous crimes that led to the degradation of this child and so many others.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door closing. He looked up to see Olivia walking into the living room where he had been stewing on the couch.

She looked at him and sighed. She had had a hard time talking with this girl. Her story had been difficult to listen to, and she had been reluctant to tell it at all, but this was a part of Olivia's job, and she was damn good at it. "Elliot, we need to talk," she said without hesitation.

Elliot regarded his former partner and her harsh tone, wishing he could stay in his fantasies, where he and Olivia actually got along. Unfortunately, her expression was clear that she needed his undivided attention.

However, being the stubborn son of a bitch that he was, he decided to use this opportunity to talk about them. "Yes, we do need to talk," he said, sitting up on the couch, moving for the first time since she had left the bedroom. "First of all let me apologize for not calling you after the shooting. I was just so-"

"I meant about the girl, Elliot," she interrupted. She knew exactly what he was trying to do, and as much as she wanted to hear him apologize for what he had done to her, she knew they had a more urgent issue at hand.

He sighed, upset that she wouldn't allow him to say what needed to be said. "Of course. I'm sorry, I just thought you might like to talk about us."

She rolled her eyes and ignored both of his apologies. Now was not the time. "I managed to convince the poor girl to lie down for a while and rest. She told me some of what she has to go through when she's with her…" she trailed off, unable to say the word "Master".

He nodded, understanding how difficult it was to say the word that gave someone so much power and control over a helpless girl. It had been just as hard for him to say it. Olivia took Elliot's nod as a signal to continue. "I assume the conversation was a recap of what she told you regarding her meals and living accommodations."

He nodded once again.

"Elliot, we really need to get her help. She's been through so much, and she needs to know that she is safe. She needs to know that she can talk about it and that he won't hurt her anymore."

He nodded, his mind focused more on her use of the word 'we' and how his heart raced when he had heard it, rather than on what she was saying.

Olivia watched as Elliot's eyes glazed over, evidence that his mind was elsewhere. She slammed her hand down on the coffee table, causing his thoughts to vanish as fear washed over him. "God damn it Elliot! Have you been listening to a single word I've said?!" The frustration was evident in her voice.

His heart was in his throat, so he had no choice but to nod again.

"Can you do nothing but nod?!" Olivia shouted, her eyes flashing.

Elliot watched as his former partner clenched her hands into fists and began to scrunch her nose, a sure sign she was infuriated. His fear quickly turned to anger. "I don't know what you want me to do Olivia!" he said, standing from the couch. "I mean, we haven't said a word about _us_ or our problems, so how do you expect us to help a little girl if we can't even help each other?"

Olivia stared Elliot in the eye. She knew what he was trying to do, and it wasn't going to work. His logic, though meant to induce guilt, only served to fuel the fire between them. "If I recall correctly," she began, stepping closer to him, "the reason you asked me to come over here was to help a little girl. It wasn't to resolve our past issues. It was not for you to apologize, and it certainly was not to catch up like old friends." She watched as Elliot clenched his jaw. She was feeding the fire, she knew, but she found it difficult to care. He had pushed her too far, and she felt it only fair that she reciprocated. "Now, I've been trying to help her to the best of my abilities, but it appears as if you had ulterior motives, since you seem to be using this as an excuse for us to reconcile. You seem to have forgotten that I am here to help a little girl that is being abused and tortured on a daily basis!" She paused so that her words would fully sink in. "Or maybe you don't care about that."

"That's a low blow, Olivia," he replied, taking a step closer to her. "You know that's not true."

"I don't know anything anymore, at least not about you! You made damn sure of that three years ago. For all I know you paid her to come here so you can do God knows what to her, and when she didn't want to, you decided to cover your ass and call me under the pretense of 'finding her on the street'. I'll have you know, I'm a Sergeant now. Don't think I won't arrest you!"

Elliot couldn't believe Olivia. How could she accuse him of something like that? "Is she saying that's what happened?"

"Of course not! For some reason, she thinks you're her guardian angel sent to protect her from all evil." Olivia looked him in the eye, making sure he heard and understood her next few words. "I'm not so convinced."

"Why not? Because I left you and didn't call? Might I remind you, that is _exactly_ what you did when you went to Oregon. Or have you forgotten everything that doesn't benefit only you?" He was taunting her, but after such accusations, he wasn't sure he cared anymore. "Or did I lose your trust when I shot that girl in the precinct? Well, we wouldn't know, because you refuse to talk about the past!"

They were now standing inches away from each other. Elliot watched as pure rage washed over Olivia's face, and he saw her right hand jerk as she clenched it tightly. He braced himself for the slap he knew was inevitable, but relaxed after a few moments, seeing the sudden realization hit Olivia as she took a deep breath. "I get it now," she said, taking a step back. "You feel indebted to this little girl because you can protect her, unlike Jenna."

He scoffed. "That's ridiculous."

Olivia shook her head. "You know it's the truth Elliot."

Elliot shook his head in return. "No. I feel indebted to her because no one should have to fear that every alleyway holds another dangerous person just waiting to take advantage of them. No one should ever be so scared that they don't even feel that they can turn to the police for help because they won't believe them. No one should ever be repeatedly forced to do anything against their will, especially not while having their life and well being threatened. No one should ever be denied food when they are hungry, and look up in astonishment when someone tells them that they will make them dinner. No one should ever think that sex is required by every person they meet. And no one should ever think that they need to offer themselves to anyone and everyone just because they are shown the smallest kindness."

He watched as Olivia began to calm down. He knew it was wrong to add insult to injury, but she had pushed his buttons, so he was going to make damn sure he pushed hers back. "And you know something else, Olivia? Maybe I do feel indebted to her because I shot Jenna. But I just want to help her get better. I thought that's what you wanted as well, given that you've been in Special Victims for so many years. I guess I was wrong."

He watched as Olivia's eyebrows furrowed, aggravated that he had turned the tables on her. This woman was so frustrating, and the way she had been acting to him was not what he had expected, nor wanted, when he had called her.

It would have been better if she had not come back into his life.


End file.
